I am not compatible with the real world

[cosmic_celery]

I applied for the fancy greeter position at the casino, and I'm hoping, despite my piss-poor resume, that I'll get an interview. The woman who is running part of it used to date one of my references (drama teacher) and has said she'd watch out for my name - so that may help. There's more than one spot open (quite a few, actually) but I keep getting terrifying information from my mother like: "so far, 60 people have applied" and "one of them is a runway model" and "you'll have to wear a dress".

My mother's wisdom on this one: "You just have to communicate easily...be friendly and outgoing. Basically, be the opposite of what you really are and you'll do fine."

*headdesk*

Isn't there a position like...in a basement somewhere? Maybe with books?