(no subject)

[cosmic_celery]

I had a nice time at my Grandma's yesterday for Fourth of July. I'm not big on symbolic displays of firepower as a celebration of patriotism, but they were pretty. We watched the nearby fireworks display from the back of her place. My favorite was the one that looked like red ash flicked from the tip of a giant, invisible cigarette.

I really like my Grandma. She's an amazing woman, but tonight she totally broke my heart. We were talking about how she and I are both introverted and she talked about something her husband (who died when I was little) said to her once:

"And Pop said, 'Rosemary, I'm a loner, but you're more of a loner than I am. You're okay on your own. You don't need me.' ...I did, though."

And then we went on to talk about something else. God, but that hurts. I'm not good with emotion in general, but I understand that.

I've been pretty disjointed and detached lately, and I'm not sure exactly how to fix that. I don't really do much and I don't do anything with people besides my immediate family because I've not had friends since I left high school three years ago. Usually I'm alright with that since I'm pretty introverted. I can amuse myself and I get my dose of human interaction here and elsewhere, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough.

Comments

[dragonessa24.livejournal.com]

Sheesh, what's up with today? I had a pity party at my journal too. And I know what you mean - I used to be completely fine on my own. Just hung out in my room all day and did my own thing. Then I met my best friend online and we grew so close, and she made it easier to be on my own once I had moved away from my parents too. And visiting her, hanging out with her and her family in person, is the best thing ever. But ever since I've known what that's like, I can't stand being alone every day, and now that she's married and has her own life, we've grown apart some and she's not online a lot of the time, making it even more lonely.

Sorry for rambling. Basically, I know what it's like and I wish I knew the solution.

[bonamoz.livejournal.com]

I often feel the same way.

[faience.livejournal.com]

[maypanic.livejournal.com]

Awww. That comment from your Grandma is lovely and a bit heartbreaking.

I know I have many times in my life had to make a concerted effort to force myself to get out, interact with other people - make new friends when others have moved on to new phases in their lives. Fight my natural tendency towards being alone, because its really not the best for me. Human interaction is good. Except for when I want to lock them all in a box and push it over a cliff, but that's quite rare, really.